Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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