Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
