I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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