I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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