I just saw a hot homeless man
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we're so committed to being not committed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize