I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
