I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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