Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
