Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
