Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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