uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I just put wine in my tea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
