I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
