Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
