I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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