Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
