Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
