i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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