Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
