When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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