Fuck appropriateness.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
