She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
