she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize