dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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