I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
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Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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