I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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