wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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