were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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