The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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