Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
