hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
