she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
