Only a mothe r could love this liver
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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