its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
