so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
