Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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