Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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