the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
