Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
