things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
