I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i now understand why vodka
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
