sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
