I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize