My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
