Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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