I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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