I wannas sexs uuuuu
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
