Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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