are you so shy because you have an std?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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