oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
