he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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