so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
