soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize