My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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