i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
