we have pet lesbian snakes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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