I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
