franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
