it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
